For all of you that don’t know I got pulled over like a month ago for going 16 over on kickapoo and now im on probation and I had to pay an $84 ticket

Things I should of said to the cop that pulled me over

When he told me that I was putting everyone lives in danger by going 15mph over the speed limit I should of responded by saying not as many as you did by making that u turn in the middle of kickapoo

"Damn, officer, you must have been going fast to keep up with me!"

When he approached me I should of , stared at his gut and say, "Hmmm. I thought cops had to be physically fit."

Sway and ask if his bulletproof vest protects him from projectile vomiting.

Lie on the ground and ask him to draw my outline in chalk.

Throw his nightstick and tell the police dog to fetch it.

Ask him if ican use his pepper spray to spice up your pizza.

Tell him i wanted to be a cop, but im going to graduate high school instead.

Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

Riverdance instead of “walk the line”

Instead of pleading the 5th amendment, plead the 13th or 16th.

When he asks for your license, say, "Oh sure, officer, can you hold my beer for a sec?"

well officer i was reaching for my bag of crack and my gun fell out of my lap into the floor and got stuck on the gas pedal and i couldnt slow down

When I saw the police officers that turned out to be a black guy and a woman I should of said I thought you were real police and driven off

that last one was a joke btw but yes i did get pulled over by an unusual combo the only black guy with the only girl

peace out

The Green M&M

i dont know if you have seen the newest m&m commercial there is a monster who is saving all the green m&ms to make a special recipe for another monster of the opposite sex this clearly is an attempt to further m&ms old campaign where they used the slogan "is it true what they say about the green ones" im not sure if you remember that but i do its true that the green m&m is the hot one that the other m&ms want her

there is a commercial where a kids parents go into his room and he has a green m&m poster on his wall and his drawer if full of them we all know why his drawer is full of them

does the green m&m contain special qualities

 are green m&ms an aphrodisiac?

i think so thats why we all save the green m&m for last

when you really think about it isnt chocolate considered to be an aphrodisiac which is what m&ms are made of which that would make a green m&m the super aphrodisiac

think about it if old men would just start eating m&ms instead of taking viagra they would save a lot of money

ok well this isnt going anywhere and it really late so tell me what you think

is it true what they say about the green ones

peace out

its summer and everything is great im loving it right now

the last couple nights ive been reading the bible quite a bit and now im listening to straylight run and the song existentialism on prom night is so good

ok so for people that dont know what existentialism is you need to look it up http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism its good reading trust me interesting stuff

just a warning this will be hard to follow bc i do jump around

right now i want to attack high school drama. high school drama is a reflection of the actual american way, it readies a person for the rest of their life bc it reinforces the american point of view, the view that we are better than other people and the only thing that really matters is what happens directly to us bc as we all know its ok to mistreat people from other countries who are lesser (the 700 club and foxnews told me that)

drama has its rewards, for instance when a person gets attention from the people around them they feel better about themselves which leads to a misplaced feeling of usefulness,

this usefulness that is completely negated by the fact that in all actuality the person  is just stressing out over stupid things that arent important

drama perfectly fits the western culture and the "me" generation the combination without question is obviously going to pose a bigger and bigger problem as my generation grows up and takes control of this country

instant gratification seems to be the theme of the generation controlling america right now and im convinced that this trait will be passed on but my generation may not get the opportunity to demand it bc of the faults of the previous generation(overusing energy, not recycling, making the whole world resent everything we do)

i know this problem of drama didnt suddenly arise but i will say that my generation is the first generation to get the luxury of worrying about popularity more than anything else

overly dramatic people are usually craving attention wherever you look you will find these people at school at work and my favorite place to find people being mad over nothing church

contrary to popular belief the church is not a perfectly run institution (inquistion) the church has its flaws(social classes) nobody can pretend for a second that there isnt a "cool" group of kids in every youth group and this runs all the way to the parents. the church isnt always and accepting place sometimes parents actually instigate the separation between kids. parents forget that the point of the church is to worship god, a lot of times i think that christians would rather think of a better way to promote christianity that to actually promote christianity im not about to say for a second though that the church is a bad thing even through small problems(crusades, witch trials) the church has managed to positively influence the lives of millions of people and i am proud to say that i am a christian

well im not exactly sure how i went from high school drama to critiquing the church sorry if my thoughts are hard to follow

leave me some insightful comments

peace out

-garrett ward